So, at the end of my teaching career, the boss that had given me so much grief was selected for the top award our district can give. To put it mildly, Ouch! Talk about feeling invalidated for all that I went through this year!
True to my nature, I stopped to ponder.
Realization #1: There are no absolutes in life.
This means that no matter how much I would like to believe that this boss is evil, she’s not. She’s a person who is trying to make the best decisions she knows how to make. She will make good ones. She is very astute about marketing her school. (To be honest, I’ve been studying her methods because I recognize how astute she is in this area.) She seems to have a weakness in the area of understanding and working with a diverse set of people. That’s not evil.
Realization #2: My perception is not the only correct one.
In this case, I found myself imagining walking around a sculpture or a crystal on exhibit. Every time I shift position, it looks a little different. Different people have different perspectives of my boss. There are those who thinks she’s awesome. That’s life.
Realization #3: This was not an attack on me.
The district did not decide to give her this award to salve her feelings, and they didn’t give the award to her to make a point to me. In truth, I doubt anyone has time to really think that way, and most wouldn’t push the boundaries of policy that hard! The award had criteria, and they felt that she met them the best. If my actions have given her pause to think and to possible make positive changes, then I can actually support the selection. If it hasn’t, then her house of cards will eventually fall.
So, I accept the irony, and I accept that the turn of events doesn’t fully sit well with me. I wish I could support the choice without reservation. From what I can tell, my boss enjoys awards and accolades, and she is enjoying her moment. I find awards and accolades to be a unfulfilling way to measure my worth, and prefer to know that, when I look in the mirror, I’m seeing a woman who is trying her best to be a person of quality. I have my reward.
Things may be ironic, but they are not always as unfair as I want to believe.